The 3rd Incarnation of Many...

This is my third incarnation here in blogspot/blogger.
Don't get me wrong. I have been blogging for sometime. Just in different places. I don't think I would give up my VOX account nor would I stop writing in Livejournal. The stuff there (particularly in Livejournal) are more personal in nature. I am still figuring out whether to carry on with this OR to just forget about it and just let this current blog rot as well and just claim royalty to my username. I do that a lot.

It helps me cope with my current non-existence in this realm.
Well...until the boss starts screaming at me. That's when suddenly I am pulled back from the parallel dimension of nowhere and I start existing again. That and also when people asks favors from me. After that, I am as good as a nobody.

Perhaps I suffer from being so average.
Actually, I am not too average. I mean there has always been a part of me that feels uncomplete. No matter how much I lie to myself. There's still a part of myself that I find faults with.
Perhaps I am a typical Libran who is actually a closet perfectionist.
But I never ever got 100% before. Oh wait, I did a couple of times when I actually bothered to try hard enough.

Honestly, I have pretty much given up on trying too hard. Not that I am afraid to. But I find its just pointless. My shallow sense of satisfaction does not allow the "hard work, sweat and tears" to go to waste. Then again, I can't really remember the last time I felt REALLY satisfied with something. Oh right, yes my transfer. But I saw it coming anyway, and if they did not give me, I would have gotten the job as an agronomist in a competitor company (I KNEW I stood a good chance).

So here I go again, trying to make all this make sense, yet failing very miserably.
Tomorrow is a Saturday. As much as it is 3 cheers for the weekend, I am not getting it that easy. The boss is just back and it seems like I am going to drown in the expected LONG, one sided meeting.
I can see it even right now.
But I shall not dwell any further in this, less my boss reads this.

Welcome to my blog by the way. I am Sidney. And I shall just leave that. As that.