It Struck Me...

I lead a weird life.
That might not seem new to those who might know me.
I find I do a lot of pointless things in life. Things that I know would not get me anywhere.
Yet, somewhere in my dumb, subconscious head, I still do it. Hoping that somewhere in time I would actually get something that I know I won't get.

Perhaps deep inside the sarcastic and lost hope person, there's still a part of me that still wants to believe.

Sigh. Would I amount to anything? I always find myself asking this.

I have been on fruits for the past two days. It didn't hit off so well. There seemed to be so much of distractions. Perhaps next week would be better after the ISP Seminar. Perhaps then I can safely set aside a few days to just be a hermit and not let people bother me that much.
I have very little selections of fruits to begin with as well.

Fruit diet teaches discipline to the highest degree (somewhat). Makes you feel lighter as well. You feel unaffected and a little numb to life as well. I think mainly because you are a little too weak and tired to even respond. Perhaps I haven't been eating as much fruits as I am supposed to.
But when you get used to eating fruits, you find that you don't need too much to survive. The hunger doesn't get to you. Its just the weak feeling and the lethargic feeling. I should one day try to see how far I can go with just fruits. Perhaps 21 days before I pass out and feel that life is just a waste of time.

As of now, I think I have only felt a partial death experience of being too tired and still carrying on my existence here. We'll see how long this wheel will turn.